Victory.

I had a goal.  A vision.  A NEED to fulfill said goal/vision.  And I had been trying and failing for many years.  Until yesterday.

Part of it was sheer luck - The "call" button was pushed at the exact moment it needed to be pushed.  And the phone was ringing. 

I almost panicked and hung up when I heard the sound of the ring instead of the dirty busy signal with which I am accustomed.  I thought, what if someone answers?  What if I make a total fool of myself?  What if I don't?  WHAT IS HAPPENING?

And then I heard it.  "Hi Ks95!" 

This was it.  I had no time for what if's anymore.  THIS is happening.

"I'm calling for *Smarter than Staci*"  I exclaim!

"And YOU are caller #9!"

Holy shit.

My face turned red and I had to turn off my ass warmer.  I don't remember exactly what happened in the immediate moments after I heard those sweet words - only that they took my information and put me on hold.  And I pulled off on the first exit I found, in the heart of the "east side," and parked in a liquor store parking lot.  I had no fear.

I listen to this show every day and I often wonder "Why aren't people more excited and talkative when they get through and get to play?"  I now understand.  They freeze.  They are focused on the prize.  Or, if they are like me, they are just focused on making sure their phone doesn't drop the call in the middle of the game.

Crisco, one of the members of the show, begins to talk to me.  He tells me that the questions are kind of hard today (which sends me farther in to panic mode), but that they have to be because it's for a good prize (concert tickets).

Here's how the game is played - FIVE questions are asked.  I have to get more correct than the other host, Staci, in order to win the prize.  She's the Cliff Clavin of useless information knowledge, so beating her in trivia proves challenging for many. 

Here were the questions -

What Roman numeral doesn't exist?
What are baby sharks called?
What serial killer began his killing spree in London in 1888?
What president started the secret service?
What is 238,900 miles from the earth?

I was wrong on the baby shark question and the president question (where the hell was my 3-year-old when I needed her?), but got the other three.

Staci was wrong on the shark and president question, too - so she just had to get the last question to tie me....

But she didn't.

And my life was now forever changed.  Many years and countless hours of dialing had finally paid off.  I never gave up.  I fought till the end.  And I won. 

And I get the long yearned for t-shirt.

Victory.



(Side note - I do realize that it's 2014 and I may be the only person I know who still listens to the actual radio on my way home, but apparently there are still hundreds of thousands of other people in the twin cities who listen to this station, because damn it - it's usually impossible to get through.  This is no lie - I have been trying since like 2010.  Amy just reminded me that I used to make her call from her phone at the same time - which makes me an even bigger dork - but I have no shame!)

Early lessons

Well, that was short lived (pun intended).  Helen Keller, our beloved goldfish of 16 whole hours, passed away this morning around 8am.  From the looks of it, it may have been of starvation, as President Kennedy was seen eating every speck of food in the bowl.  Or it could have been because goldfish either live for one day or until they are 10 feet long, and she chose the one day route (perhaps she didn't like the $1.99 goldfish "treats" that she would have had to survive on for the rest of her life).

Either way - we had to break it to Charly this morning.  She, of course, didn't really get it initially.  She just kept saying "Helen Keller is floating away!"  But something must have suddenly somewhat clicked in her head because the lower lip suddenly quivered as she turned to mommy and me and said "but I want Helen Keller to be alive again!"  Freaking heartbreaking. 

Amy thought we should have a little service for her - but I feared Charly would go to school Monday morning and announce that she flushed Helen Keller down the toilet this weekend and we would get an angry phone call from the teacher....

The fish

We decided that the kids were ready to take on some responsibility - I mean, one is 3 and the other is 10 months... so it's totally the appropriate time, right?

So they were each going to get their very own goldfish.

But before we bought the goldfish, we made our weekly trip to the library and I told Charly she needed to find a book on the proper way to care for her goldfish.  She happily obliged, and made her way to the "how to" section to find the perfect book (her choices were limited to the two goldfish books they had in the entire library).  Afterward, she thumbed through some more books and picked the ones she wanted this week (including a police book, a book about clocks, a book about ways to count to 100, and of course a book about the presidents), and was ready to check-out and go get her real goldfish.

As we were driving away from the library, we realized that the goldfish book was not in her bag, nor was it ever checked out.  She had forgotten it on her reading table.  How irresponsible was that, right?  So I told her that since she couldn't even keep track of her library book, she was totally not responsible enough to take care of a goldfish. 

OK - so you know that was a lie.  Simmer down.

Truth - I totally accepted responsibility for her book not getting in her bag.  I told her I should have double checked before we left (side note - I also lost one of Colty's shoes along the way too, but that bad-boy turned up inside the car somehow).  She was super upset and wasn't sure how she was going to know how to feed her goldfish if she didn't have that book.  Awww.  Super cute.

So anyway - Meet our newest family members... wait for it...

President Kennedy (left) and Helen Keller (right).

 

I can't make this shit up.

The doctor

Being a parent is hard work.  Choosing a pediatrician is hard work, especially since you need to find one BEFORE your baby is born, you have no real idea what they are like, and you have no idea what you are doing as a parent.  Before Charly was born, we chose a pediatrician based on a profile from the clinic’s website.  We could have gone to meet said pediatrician, but we never did.  We just put the name down on our hospital registration (because it was required), and would meet the doctor after the baby was born. 

After Charly was delivered, the doctor we chose was not available for a visit to the hospital to give her her pre-discharge check-up.  So they sent Dr. Delahunty (Dr. D).  We immediately fell in love with her before she was even done checking Charly out.  Dr D. was one of the doctors based primarily out of the Hudson, WI clinic, but we didn’t care.  We would be seeing her for all our healthcare needs.  We drove to Hudson for all our check-ups.

Over the past 3 years, we have seen her for all well-checks for both kids, and several times for illnesses.  We have had to see other docs at times for quick visits, though, because Dr. D. was always booked.  We have yet to find a doctor that treats our kids the way she does.  We don’t even want to leave after the visit is over.  We would like to just stay there and “visit” with her!

After every doctor appointment, Charly talks about Dr. D for days.  She even has a doctor kit and calls herself Dr. Charly.  She remembers everything that Dr. D says to her and repeats it while giving one of us our very own check-up.  Do you have bunnies in your ears?  Let me check for bunnies!

And we will never forget the day that MN legislature voted to legalize same-sex marriage.  We had one of the kids in for a visit that day with Dr. D for some reason.  After the check-up was done, Dr. D asked if we were going to celebrate at the capitol that night.  I said no, I had labs scheduled at school that night that I couldn’t miss.  Dr. D said “Oh – I’m going.  There’s going to be dancing and bands and it’s going to be so much fun!  Do you need me to write you a note to get out of school?”  Seriously.  I love her.

So you can imagine our disappointment when we received the news (yesterday) that she is leaving the clinic to spend time at home with her family. 

Maybe it’s not always the best idea to have two women in a relationship – because who takes care of who when we are both crying?  Yeah.  It happened.  And I just read this post to Amy and she’s crying again.

We heart you Dr. D.  And we wish you well.  (But we're going to need to do make house calls after you leave the clinic... )

Raising moms or aging moms?

I realize that having kids means automatically getting unsolicited comments, advice etc. from random strangers.  Amy and I found that out about a week after Charly was born – For example - we took her out in public and within minutes some random stranger was pulling her blanket down so they could see her face.  Cue instant mama bears.  Another example - we were walking by a kiosk in the mall when an employee saw our newborn baby and asked which one of us was her mom.  I replied “We both are.”  She then asked “well who is her REAL mom?”  Cue angry mama bears.  We learned to form a thick skin with a quickness.  So the following stories shouldn’t have really bothered me too much.  But nonetheless…

About a month or two ago, Amy and I took the kids to the mall to go clothes shopping at Crazy 8.  The whole store was 40-60% off and I was about to go all Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman on that joint.  The plan was for me to take Colty in the store while Amy took Charly on the carousel (so I could get a few minutes to actually LOOK at the clothes without chasing a toddler).  Amy and Char walked away and went down the escalator, and Colty and I looked over the railing from above, waving.  Charly did not initially see that we were waving, so I started calling her name.  As I am doing this, one of the cleaning staff members was right next to me pushing a giant garbage can.  She sees me waving and calling for Char, so she starts smiling and stops to watch.  Finally, Charly spots us and starts waving and yelling “Hi mama!  Hi Colty!”  The woman smiles and cheers “Look!  She finally saw you!  She’s yelling ‘Hi Grandma!’”  Then she walks away.

Hi Grandma?  I am 32 years old. 

I had no response – I just stood there, embarrassed as all hell.  I don’t embarrass easily, and I had grown some incredibly thick skin since becoming a mother.  But THIS stung! 

I didn’t even tell Amy about it for several days.  And I tell Amy EVERYTHING.  Especially things like this that were actually quite hilarious.  When I finally did tell her, we laughed and decided it was just an isolated incident, and that the woman was obviously crazy.

Until yesterday.

I had a two hour break at school and needed to pass some time.  I decided to go to Once Upon a Child to get the kids some new swimsuits (Yes, I’m admitting I shop there from time to time – I have no shame… We’re poor and buying swimsuits new in spring time is asinine).  I shop around for a while and then go to check-out.  I hand the girl my stuff and grab my credit card.  She rings me up, making pleasant small talk.  She tells me my total, and I hand her my card.  Then she looks at me for a second and says “Well are you a….” and she trails off.  I ask what she was going to say and she decides to finish her sentence.  “Are you a grandma by any chance?  Because it’s grandparent’s day here and grandparents get a 15% discount on all merchandise.”

Are you fricken kidding me?

I sat there for a second, pretending to be digging through my purse because I had no response.  But then in a fit of rage, I looked up at her and I said “Yes.  Yes I am.”

And I saved 15%.

Bash me if you will.

My first post....

I should preface this entire blog by saying this..... I have no idea why I'm starting it.... No direction for it yet.... And no idea where to begin.

Hence the title, I suppose.  My kids raise ME.  Give ME direction.  Give ME ideas.

I want a place where I can write about my day with my kids.  Remember all the funny shit they do.  Swear - because I cannot do that all day.  And I reeeeally like to swear sometimes. 

Let me start with a very tiny background on my family.  (YES!  I just found a starting point!)

Amy and I have been together since 2006.  In early 2010, we realized that we wanted kids.  We chose a method of conception (IUI at a clinic, not at home), decided who would carry the first child (me), chose our (anonymous) donor, spoke to some friends that helped us find a doctor, and gave it a shot. 

38 weeks later, in February of 2011, our sweet little girl Charlotte was born. 

Fast forward a little over a year.  It was Amy's turn to carry baby #2.  We chose to use the same donor so our kids had some sort of a biological connection (though we both agree that biology does not make a family).   So in May of 2012, Amy was inseminated.  9 days later, positive pregnancy test.  Just over 7 weeks later, we experienced the loss of that pregnancy.  We were so heart broken.  But we grieved, accepted, and bounced back.  We waited for her next cycle and tried again.

36 weeks and 6 days later, in May of 2013, our big-blue-eyed stud muffin Colton was born.

We consider ourselves the luckiest people on the planet, truly.

While I still don't know the true direction of this blog... I do know that I am going to use it mostly as a place to keep my family's memories.  And I know I may or may not choose to publicly share each post I make.

I also know that our oldest child is one of the funniest, wittiest, most imaginative and creative people I have ever met.  And my youngest, while he may not talk yet, proves his sly personality through many of other outlets (usually electrical) everyday.  So I can assure you that the majority of posts will not be dull......