I realize that having kids means automatically getting
unsolicited comments, advice etc. from random strangers. Amy and I found that out about a week after
Charly was born – For example - we took her out in public and within minutes
some random stranger was pulling her blanket down so they could see her
face. Cue instant mama bears. Another example - we were walking by a kiosk
in the mall when an employee saw our newborn baby and asked which one of us was
her mom. I replied “We both are.” She then asked “well who is her REAL
mom?” Cue angry mama bears. We learned to form a thick skin with a
quickness. So the following stories
shouldn’t have really bothered me too much.
But nonetheless…
About a month or two ago, Amy and I took the kids to the
mall to go clothes shopping at Crazy 8.
The whole store was 40-60% off and I was about to go all Julia Roberts
in Pretty Woman on that joint. The plan
was for me to take Colty in the store while Amy took Charly on the carousel (so
I could get a few minutes to actually LOOK at the clothes without chasing a
toddler). Amy and Char walked away and
went down the escalator, and Colty and I looked over the railing from above,
waving. Charly did not initially see
that we were waving, so I started calling her name. As I am doing this, one of the cleaning staff
members was right next to me pushing a giant garbage can. She sees me waving and calling for Char, so
she starts smiling and stops to watch.
Finally, Charly spots us and starts waving and yelling “Hi mama! Hi Colty!”
The woman smiles and cheers “Look!
She finally saw you! She’s
yelling ‘Hi Grandma!’” Then she walks
away.
Hi Grandma? I am 32
years old.
I had no response – I just stood there, embarrassed as all
hell. I don’t embarrass easily, and I
had grown some incredibly thick skin since becoming a mother. But THIS stung!
I didn’t even tell Amy about it for several days. And I tell Amy EVERYTHING. Especially things like this that were
actually quite hilarious. When I finally
did tell her, we laughed and decided it was just an isolated incident, and that
the woman was obviously crazy.
Until yesterday.
I had a two hour break at school and needed to pass some
time. I decided to go to Once Upon a
Child to get the kids some new swimsuits (Yes, I’m admitting I shop there from
time to time – I have no shame… We’re poor and buying swimsuits new in spring
time is asinine). I shop around for a
while and then go to check-out. I hand
the girl my stuff and grab my credit card.
She rings me up, making pleasant small talk. She tells me my total, and I hand her my
card. Then she looks at me for a second
and says “Well are you a….” and she trails off.
I ask what she was going to say and she decides to finish her
sentence. “Are you a grandma by any
chance? Because it’s grandparent’s day
here and grandparents get a 15% discount on all merchandise.”
Are you fricken kidding me?
I sat there for a second, pretending to be digging through
my purse because I had no response. But
then in a fit of rage, I looked up at her and I said “Yes. Yes I am.”
And I saved 15%.
Bash me if you will.
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