There I was, sitting on the couch minding my own business - when out of the corner of my eye I saw a tiny something crawling on the ceiling above me. Ordinarily, this is no big deal - I love me some bugs. But this was no ordinary bug. It was mysteriously long, moved pretty fast, and I could sense its evil from afar. It was... a centipede. My arch nemesis. I watched silently for a moment whil...e I planned my attack - but in a split second weak moment, I turned my head, and when I looked back, he was gone. I was horrified. He had outsmarted me.
Fast-forward 20 minutes or so. I am forever on the lookout, because I know that monster is going to strike with a vengeance when I least expect it. But in yet another weak moment, I forget about him for a minute while I stand in the kitchen, checking facebook on my phone. Movement was visualized out of my right peripheral - and all jokes aside - that sum bitch was ON MY FOOT. He looked up at me, smiled, and made a run for it.
One would think that I would have had a fool-proof plan in place of how to dispose of this savage beast when the time came, and been able to implement said plan when the time came. But I froze. I choked. I watched in disbelief as he scurried away, taking my pride with him.
Soon, something in me snapped, perhaps the motherly instinct finally made its first ever appearance, and I knew what I had to do. I had to kill this devil once and for all. So I picked up Charly's shoe (because, you know, the smartest thing to do in this situation is find the SMALLEST WEAPON IMAGINABLE), stretched as far as I could, and beat the ever loving bejezus out of him, until I was sure he couldn't haunt me in my sleep.
Me = 1. Centipede = probably more than one, because now I need to bug bomb the shit out of my house.
Fast-forward 20 minutes or so. I am forever on the lookout, because I know that monster is going to strike with a vengeance when I least expect it. But in yet another weak moment, I forget about him for a minute while I stand in the kitchen, checking facebook on my phone. Movement was visualized out of my right peripheral - and all jokes aside - that sum bitch was ON MY FOOT. He looked up at me, smiled, and made a run for it.
One would think that I would have had a fool-proof plan in place of how to dispose of this savage beast when the time came, and been able to implement said plan when the time came. But I froze. I choked. I watched in disbelief as he scurried away, taking my pride with him.
Soon, something in me snapped, perhaps the motherly instinct finally made its first ever appearance, and I knew what I had to do. I had to kill this devil once and for all. So I picked up Charly's shoe (because, you know, the smartest thing to do in this situation is find the SMALLEST WEAPON IMAGINABLE), stretched as far as I could, and beat the ever loving bejezus out of him, until I was sure he couldn't haunt me in my sleep.
Me = 1. Centipede = probably more than one, because now I need to bug bomb the shit out of my house.
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